I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
