how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
