you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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