Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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