uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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