You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
