hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
