To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
