people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Randomize
