I just cut my nipple shaving
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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