are you still at the devil's house?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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