So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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