That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We had sex on a dog bed..
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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