can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
