you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
