I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
