I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
