WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
