if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
