Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
