All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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