trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just invented taco cereal.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
