Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Randomize
