I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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