I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
