I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
even my farts smell like vagina
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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