I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
