Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
