Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
