Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
