What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
