Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
