whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
