zippers are such a cool invention
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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