I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
