dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
