Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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