my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
