Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
