super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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