The maid of honor just puked.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
