I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
whose ass print is on the piano?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
