I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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