Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
