For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
