just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
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