I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
