I wish i was in the wii world.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
