She announced her abortion via fbk
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
