why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
