your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
