This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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